Sting Like a Bee

Last night I swam right before closing. It was me and three dudes, two of whom like to swim a wild style dolphin (It seems this is what men do at night...fascinating). Of the other two swimmers, one buff guy was doing a low-key water walk (sweet) and then this young Asian pal o'mine (in the pool) was doing sprints. The latter dude mentioned always does sprints. He is very enthusiastic and has a great spirit. Lately I feel incredibly "at one" with swimming. It's a wonderful feeling. I had a funny conversation last night with my bud, Eddie, about this swim blog. I was accusing him of not reading it (along with my other blogs), and in regard to this one, he was like, "Yeah, I looked at it. You say stuff like you feel like a butterfly in the pool." Well, I never said butterfly but close to it I'm sure. Then I was like, "I don't see no comments." He was back at me like, "What is there to say to you gliding thru the water?" Except he phrased it in a kind way where I could understand how he might feel that way. He's going to comment on another blog of his choosing though...if he knows what's good for him :-).

Simple Swim (no drama)

I had my usual Sunday blues, so the swimming felt good. I've been swimming every day, half a mile instead of a mile, and that feels better for swimming every day. My muscles don't get tired or sore at all inbetween. And half a mile (about 35 laps) is nothing. That is, it goes by very fast, about twenty to twenty-five minutes to swim, followed by five minutes of stretching. Then the shower I so love. Everyone behaved themselves in the pool today, including me. I swam with a swimmer who had the same pace as me, and we kept a nice distance from each other.
Swim tip of the day: Wearing goggles can produce raccoon eyes from the impression that the goggles leave on the face. There are goggles available that have foam around the frame that prevent that. They are about thirty dollars. I wear goggles that are somewhere in the middle (a Speedo brand with a flexible plastic). A good pair of goggles costs about fifteen dollars. And don't forget to wash and dry your goggles after you swim. Dry them with a towel to prevent scratching.

The Bony Swimmer

Today was a wonderful afternoon swim that was not too crowded. The only noteworthy event was seeing a swimmer who I had never seen before who appeared to be anorexic, though you never know. I was in the locker room putting my towel into the towel bin, and she was walking towards me to enter the pool area. She was white with blond hair, maybe a little older than me, and she looked incredibly emaciated. It gave me quite a start and for the first time that I've ever done so, I accidentally dropped my towel into the garbage can next to the laundry bin. We made eye contact and mouthed "hellos" nodding, the way all swimmers do. Perhaps, she has titled her blog entry for today, "The Chunky Swimmer."
Swim Stretch (20 seconds):
Stand facing the wall with your hands holding the edge of the pool. Stand with one foot in front of the other (front leg bent), but not directly in front, like a runner's pose. The front foot is flat and the back foot is balanced on the front ball of the foot (like wearing a high-healed shoe). The stretch is in the foot and the back lower leg. I like the feeling of balance of this stretch. I call it "Grounding" because it makes me feel grounded for the day (stablized).

You're in the wrong frickin' lane, Mister!

Yesterday's swim was quite rejuvenating. The water was cool and the lanes weren't crowded. There was a skirmish between two male swimmers, and the lifeguard had to become involved (a woman). I can't stop to watch and listen to fights due to my need to maintain my heart rate, so I can only do my best to interprete the muted interactions. It's a shame cuz I'd love to stop and rubberneck! I heard Man A yell out to the lifeguard that Man B was doing something wrong, probably not following a rule. Man B jumped out of the pool and spoke for a minute with the lifeguard. Then Man B got directly into my lane and began to swim right at me. The pool wasn't crowded, so this was ridiculous. I kept swimming but then had to stop to avoid us crashing into each other. I stood in front of him as he came towards me and said (progressively louder until he was about two feet from hitting me):
"You're in the wrong lane."
"YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE."
"YOU'RE IN THE WRONG LANE!"
It was dumb that he wasn't seeing me until he had practically crashed into me. When someone is swimming, he/she is like a driver in a car. Drivers usually see people in front of them from a decent distance. But this guy was in his own world. I wasn't too angry or concerned, since he wasn't in a car (thank goodness). However, I did not want to have to be stopped for long due to maintaining my cardio pace, and I did not want to give up my good lane. I think he was just dense. Finally he heard me and said he was sorry, got out of the pool, then yelled again that he was sorry and some "blah, blah" that I didn't hear, and I yelled back, "It's okay!" I just wanted to get on with my work-out.
Swim cliche of the day:
Woman Lifeguard: Hi, how are you?
Woman Swimmer: Good, how are you?
Woman Lifeguard: [inaudible]
Both smile and Woman Swimmer gets into pool.

Sweet Potato Cheesecake

Yesterday's swim was warm. The warmth didn't bother me too much. It's more of a problem when the pool is crowded, and I can't swim at the same pace for the whole time. I get overheated swimming faster to pass or not hold up a swimmer. I made a new locker room worker friend, M, who was recently trained by Ms. H. She's less outgoing than Ms. H. but easy to engage. She is taking night classes with the goal of opening a restaurant in which she will serve delicious items like sweet potato cheesecake (or maybe I got it wrong, but it sounds interesting anyway). Answer to Reader Inquiry: Music does bend a bit towards a given holiday, but thankfully not too much. Usually the music is set on a sort of elevator/classical level that suits me just fine.

Dramatic Disclosure in the Locker Room.

Yesterday I swam before a comedy show. I had an interesting conversation with Ms. H, the locker room worker after my swim. I asked her"So how do you stay in such good shape?" I hate questions like that but found myself asking for the comfort of an exchange of cliches. She said, "I used to be your size, could o'worn a tent." I smiled and nodded a thank you. Afterall, ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer! But then the discussion improved, as she continued, "But that was before jail." A few heads spun around. "Oh, yeah?" I casually encouraged her, as she folded towels. "Yeah," she said, "The foods no good, and all there is to do is exercise." "No kidding, " I exclaimed, as if it were a new health regimen I might pursue. She came closer to me, and answered the unasked question. She said, "I stabbed a boyfriend who was molesting my daughter." I listened to her story, expressed some sympathy, and went on my way to the comedy club.

The @#!$% Basketball Guy!

Tonight I swam right before the pool closed again. Except this time it was packed. I asked a man if I could join him in a narrow lane, with me swimming by the wall. He unhappily agreed because he had no choice due to the rules. He was doing all backstroke, so I couldn't do any backstroke...for obvious reasons. I tried very hard to stay by the wall, even scraping my knuckles once. My only hope was that he would get out before I was done. This wishing is a game in itself. Unfortunately he got out quietly and before I knew it a swimmer we call the Basketball guy had swooped under the rope (he had been circling with others) and taken the side by the rope! We call this "swimmer" the Basketball Guy because he swims with a basketball! He clutches it to him, sometimes swimming with it and other times waterwalking with it. At the end of the lane he pretends to slam dunk and stuff. It seems to be an extravagant fantasy and is frankly an embarrassment to the swimming community. Despite these distractions, the swim felt great, and I left feeling refreshed.
Cliche of the day:
A: "I can't believe the pool is so crowded at 10pm."
B: "I know. I waited to swim just so that it wouldn't be crowded."
A: "Ya just never know..."
B: "That's for sure!"

Blissful Swim

Last night I swam right before the pool closed after I got back in the city from the funeral of my patient. It was just me and the guys. I imagined wives with children at home (heterosexist thought), saying to themselves, "Why is he always off swimming at night?" The pool was pretty empty, and the swim was bliss, even though I was tired.

Some Thoughts on Wild Swimmers

Yesterday's swim felt great because I was depressed, and it recharged my chi a bit (my life force). Even though it was a Sunday afternoon, the pool was not that crowded. There was a guy swimming on the other side of the rope from me who swims about the same pace as me. I felt that we were racing each other a bit, at least I was. Racing someone in the same lane isn't fun due to the proximity. In fact, there is an irritating dynamic when two people swimming at the same pace end up swimming directly next to one another, and neither wants to change their routine. But with this guy we had a good distance and neither of us are wild swimmers, so racing was fun, an unacknowledged pool game to pass the time. Secret Swim Fear: That I am a wild swimmer but just don't know it. I don't think this is true and have no reason to, but I've seen wild swimmers who don't know they're wild swimmers, and the picture aint pretty. However, I am hoping that just by virtue of having a fear that I am a wild swimmer makes it highly unlikely that I am a wild swimmer. Wild swimmers are usually painfully unaware of their surroundings. They spash and hit others and do crazy turns, while the rest of us shake our heads in disbelief, muttering to each other, "He's so wild!" (And yes, more often than not, wild swimmers are male).

A Curious Experience

Yesterday's swim was great because I was feeling depressed and sick. Usually I don't swim with a cold but I was able to manage it and plan to again today. I swam before closing on a Saturday night. That is such a perfect time to swim because of the lack of crowds. It's so peaceful, and I enjoy thinking about the other swimmers. What makes them swim during this off time? Is it because it's less crowded? Do they go out clubbing late? Do they stay home? I feel as if we are each out on a date with the pool. One Valentine's day night I spent the evening swimming and felt a bond with the other swimmers. I remember the nice sound of the classical music combined with the sound of swim strokes. I enjoy solitary activities with other people around, like writing or doing art projects in the company of someone else/others. And there's definitely an excitement to being in the pool on any special occasion. One woman in the locker room told me that she was in the pool during the nyc black-out last year. I suppose that could have been traumatic but her description was more like a curious experience. I wonder who was in the pool on 9/11 three years ago.

Steam Coming Out of My Ears

The pool was too warm today, so that's what I thought about the whole swim. At first the warm water felt welcoming because I'd been dreading (too strong a word) getting into cool water. But warm water is never worth it in the long run, or "swim" to be more accurate. The head heats up inside the swim cap. Thankfully I didn't get a headache. It was a relief to do my stretching after, taking off the swim cap and allowing my head to release its steam. I'm getting a bit silly but it's true. Swim tip for the day: When stretching in the pool after a swim, fold up your swim cap and tuck it under a shoulder strap of your swim suit.

Proud fish!

I had a great swim today, another one that felt like velvet, like I was gliding through the water with total ease. Answer to reader inquiry: I rarely forget to count laps. I have a back-up plan, two ways of counting, in case one fails--so it is rare that both fail (like they did yesterday). The first way is to simply count (duh). The second way is to do memorized sequences of laps, so if I forget to count a lap, I can say, "Oh, I'm doing three laps of breast stroke, so this is the thirty-sixth lap" (I choreograph routines for that purpose, as well as amusement for myself). I made up for forgetting my lap count yesterday by swimming about fifty minutes. I forgot for a long time before I realized I was swimming with no awareness of what I was doing. To be honest, it was likely because I was depressed. When I am depressed, I lose concentration. It's nice to forget to count in a way, though, because not only do I forget to count--I forget that I'm swimming. And there's nothing that feels more fish-like than that.

Short and Sweet

I swam this evening in a fairly empty pool between 7 and 9 pm. I had a lane all to myself. I got lost in thought and forgot about counting my laps. It was an easy swim, meaning effortless. I swam all free-stroke.

Mars and Venus in the Pool

Yesterday I swam with two swimmers who were faster than me but they were doing sprints so they spent a lot of time hanging out at the end of the lane, making it easy for us not to clash. I understand swimmers do this to train but the idea of just standing around in the pool does not appeal to me, not in the midst of lap swimming. In answer to a reader's question, there are positives and negatives for swimming with either gender. Men can be too rough and take up too much space. They kick water so that it literally hits the ceiling (they tend to be more muscular too) and they do fierce turns against the wall. They're bigger and they don't make a special effort to stay out of other people's way. They are less aware of their surroundings. On the positive side, their routine is very basic and regimented. They add to the quality of sameness that I like about swimming. They all look the same, lean, muscular, young, with dark blue Speedo's and caps. They outnumber the women and are more of a mystery, like aliens. The women come in two types. One type does laps and the other type does a lot of frilly stuff in the pool: water walking, gadgets (yes, ice skates will likely be next), and relaxing swims. Women have a greater variety of attire, body type, and age. Female lap swimmers are competittive with one another, until we become friendly. Female swimmers seem more human overall (no judgment). FYI: "No judgment" is a catch phrase my kiddy clients use these days, tagging it onto the end of statements. It means, "I'm just pointing out how something is, not saying whether I think it's good or bad." This is a tangent but they also will say at the end of anything that could be contrued as indicating that they are gay "no homo." For instance, "I ate the best hot dog for lunch today, no homo." This means that just because they ate a hot dog, they are not gay. The best is when they casually tag "no homo" onto statements that take a while to figure out why they would be associated with homosexuality to begin with. For instance, " This Saturday I went to the zoo with my brother, no homo" (I guess the idea is that spending time with the same sex is all it takes to require a disclaimer).

Swimming to the Shower

I had a crowded Labor Day Swim. I joined two swimmers in a lane, and the one I spoke to first was not a regular. Hence, when I brought up circling, she started circling in the wrong direction. The other swimmer and I took her lead but I remained confused the whole time. I thought to myself, "Next time I will correct things at the beginning." I imagined rewinding the interaction and redoing it. To distract myself from the annoyance, I played a game in my head that I call "Swimming to the Shower." Showers with good water pressure are great to begin with, and the endorphin rush s/p a swim only enhances the fun. So I like to imagine that in order to take a shower I must swim to it. Get it? Like I am never allowed to shower unless I swim to the shower. Instead of laps I imagine a straight line to the shower that can only be traversed by swimming across a waterway. You'll be delighted to know that I made it to the shower!
Swim tip for the day: The pool closes half an hour before the gym closes.

Possible Sexism in the Pool!

Yesterday's swim felt great! Being the Sunday evening of Labor Day weekend, the pool was hopping! It closes at six on Labor Day weekend, so we all laughed about how mad busy it was (I like to use the expressions of the kids I work with, "mad" and "wicked" being two of their favorite adjectives meaning "very"). No doubt I was circling the whole time but it was still cool because there was simply a good energy to the swim (new age sounding, I know). Towards the end of my swim, an exciting event occurred. A fourth swimmer got into the lane, and the three of us treated the event as if a turd had been thrown into the pool! There are only three swimmers allowed per lane. We confronted her at the end of the lane, and she explaned that the lifeguard had assigned her this lane and he was moving the man in our lane to a faster lane. Ohhh, our shock and outrage dissipated, although she should have waited until the man was out of our lane. Still, this was a kind lady, and she was quickly forgiven. Interestingly, the man was not the fastest swimmer in our lane. It was a woman who wears a tankini with the word "lifeguard" written on it. I wondered if the lifeguard automatically bumped up the man because he was a man. There was no time to discuss that, though, because we ladies needed to get back to the business of our laps!
Cliche of the day:
"These holiday hours make the pool so crowded!"

Keep It Simple, Stupid!

I had a very refreshing swim on a hot Saturday. I started out circling, and then both people left at once (a swimmer's dream!). One woman hit me from under the rope with a huge red rubber boxing glove (I am so against these work-out toys!). We got to the end of the pool at the same time and she said, "I'm sorry, ma'am." Unfortunately I didn't respond and kept swimming because the "ma'am" scared me like if I stopped to listen I might hear, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm going to have to arrest you." I felt guilty after. Her voice was kind and sincere...but, damn if it didn't sound like a professional, gentle yet tough, woman cop. My neurotic nonsense interfered with my giving a socially appropriate response...then again, why wear that awful glove? Gawd knows what it does to enhance the work-out! I know that people use all sorts of funky training gear...but I call the stuff "pool toys" and turn my nose up at the equipment. Who knows? Maybe one day I'll be a convert...but not today!

Ham in the pool!

My mom came with me to the pool today. She is visiting from Ohio. I asked her to watch me swim and after negotiating that she could bring a magazine to flip thru, she agreed. I gave her my digital camera and asked her to take pictures of me while I swam. I told her, "Because it's a work-out, just so you know, you can't stop me and ask me to pose in certain ways for photos." She rolled her eyes and said, "C'mon, give me some credit [for knowing how to behave]." I got into the only available lane with a sweet woman who I often swim with. I asked, "Do you mind if I swim with you?" She nodded yes and said, "We always swim so well together." I was touched by this and began my work-out with good energy. Soon my mom began quietly snapping some pictures of me just as I'd instucted. I, on the other hand, didn't follow my instructions. Before I could stop myself, I was turning to flash smiles and exaggerating hand flourishes for the camera. Distracted by modeling, I barged into my lane partner, quickly saying, "I'm so sorry! Gosh, I'm sorry!" She was nice about it but probably will be careful next time not to jinx herself by stating how nice someone is to swim with! After that, I made an effort to ignore the camera, but -believe me- it was an effort!

Flamboyant Water Walk

Yesterday afternoon, still on vacation from my job, I went swimming prior to meeting Hope in Central Park (a half mile swim). I asked a man and woman if I could circle with them. Thankfully this seemed to drive the man out of the pool after a few minutes (or maybe he had finished his swim). Some people opt to leave the pool instead of circle swim. I'm a little more hardy of a swimmer. The woman allowed me to take the good lane by the rope since she was dancing around with weights. There is a strange water walk that a lot of peole do, presumably learned in water classes. The walk is like a cat burglar who is light on his feet. It looks extremely silly. I've had fantasies of doing it but my modesty gets in the way, although one night I had a vivid dream that I came to the pool after it closed and , shrouded in darkness, did that flamboyant water walk. Anyway, my swim was easy, and I enjoyed my post-swim stretching. I particularly enjoyed one stretch that I call "the rack" in which I grasp the edge of the pool with my hands and have my feet on the pool wall, so that my legs are stretched tight and my shoulders are stretched. There's nothing better than relaxing into that stretch. Tip for the day: If you run into someone in the gym while naked quickly hide or if it is unavoidable say a very confident, "Hi!" with a smile, and engage in small talk as if you are dressed. Note to reader who told similar story: I have run into colleagues and professors throughout my swimming history.

Multiple Swims

I swam a half mile today. Since I did that recently during a "struggle swim," I realize that it feels a bit more doable at times. The pool had some negative energy because I had an unpleasant interaction with a dude just after starting my swim. He was faster than me (or presumably so because he was not in the pool yet) and asked me to change to the slower lane, but the slower lane was against a wall and by a wild woman. Also, there was no need for me to be in the slower lane because unless there are more than three people in a lane, there is no circling, and the issue of speed becomes void. It's very bad etiquette to ask someone to take a worse lane for no reason. Anyhow, I acted like I didn't hear him, finished my lap, and then did what he said, to avoid talking to him, and to avoid a conflict. But it put a damper on my swim. His tone was aggressive, and I didn't like it. There was a strange smell of Eucalyptus or cleaning fluid in the pool area today too, and that also was unpleasant, though not extremely so. I kept looking suspiciously at different swimmers and thinking, "Are YOU wearing Eucalyptus perfume???" I don't think it actually was one person because the smell was too strong. Sometimes it does happen that someone wears something scented into the pool, though, and they are completely unaware of what a presence it becomes for the others. It's like when I started to use nail polish remover on a small airplane, and the stewardess had to have a word with me. She was right! My best interaction was before the swim. I saw a woman in a swimsuit who looked friendly so I said one of my best "pick-up" lines, "Getting in or out?" She laughed and said, "Actually both!" I gave her a quizical "tell-me-more" look, and she said, "It's a double swim. I swam, worked out, showered, and now I'm swimming again!" I said, "Oh, I've always thought about doing that!" She said, "Me too! This is my first time actually doing it, though!" It's true. Swimming can feel so good that one wants to go right back to it! The shower afterwards is the bomb too! Swim tip: Look at the lines on the bottom of the pool and on the ceiling to keep on track while doing laps. Good goggles are a must.