I am reminded of a shark fin...

Since I'm off work this week, I was able to swim at a very off time (2pm) which rocked because the pool was so empty. I would love to win the lottery and swim at off times every day. I swam on the upper west side near my apartment, and the gym on the upper west side is connected to the mall. I have two favorite places in the mall, Whole Foods, which takes up the whole basement, and Borders Bookstore, on the second floor. I saw a "help wanted" sign at Borders, and I had this fantasy that I would apply and they would be interested in me and would also tell me that the pay is higher than my current job. Then I would work there and swim. Anyway, about six men swam with me, though not at the same time. It was interesting that there weren't any women. In general, more men than women swim, or so it appears. Men often take quick, fast swims that seem to be part of cross training and are also probably refreshing for them (I hope it's not their shower!). They generally all look alike. I swam easily. When I am depressed, as I have been for the past few days, I could swim all day. It feels so wonderful. After the swim, due to the gym's emptiness, I was able to take a shower in the third shower, my favorite. The first shower is against the wall, and it is too small. The second shower gives a torrrent of water (it is my second favorite shower). The third shower has an evenly distributed spray with nice water pressure, and the shower stall is large. Special Swim Answer to Reader Inquiry: As to the issue of snorkeling in a pool, I agree with you that it is in very poor taste. I think some people do it to prepare for a vacation, and others do it because they can't properly breathe underwater. When I see a snorkel, I am reminded of a shark fin and tend to back off.

Bathing in Complete Privacy

I would have liked to have gotten onto a bike or treadmill before swimming but they have been causing me back problems. Swimming never gives me back problems or any other injuries. At most I get a cramp and switch to a different stroke. I'd like to have exercise equipment at home for while I watch good t.v. but the bike and the treadmill didn't work. Sometimes I imagine the at home pool (www.endlesspools.com) advertised in the New Yorker in my one-bedroom fourth-floor walk-up apartment. Oh, well, I couldn't watch t.v. during it anyway. I've felt depressed for the past few days, so I felt grateful for the opportunity to charge up my endorphins with today's swim. I had an interesting lane partner. He had a kickboard and couldn't steer it correctly so when I would get near him he'd stop and stand in the pool. It was strange. I used to use a kickboard but then a lifeguard told me that by using a kickboard I was "cheating half my body." I know that's not true in that people train with kickboards and it adds some variety, but ever since he said that I stopped using kickboards. I didn't want to cheat! While changing after my swim, I listened to locker room staffer, H., give a tour of the locker room to a perspective member. It was a hoot with a capital "H!" She treats all of us like royalty and made it clear to the perspective member that this was a special place. Her best line was in showing the showers that have attached changing rooms, "As you know, most people enjoy bathing in complete privacy." She's quite right!

The Bad-Ass Snorkeler

Yesterday I did a forty-five minute fat burning program on a bike before swimming. There are two bikes that I like the best, and they are right next to each other. A man was on one of the bikes, and I thought I saw a woman walking toward the other from a distance, so I sprinted over and sort of kicked the bike accidentally. In the midst of my sprint the woman had veered toward another machine, so she hadn't been going over to the bike anyway. Then I set up my articles on the magazine ledge on the panel of the bike. The articles are cut from magazines and stapled. I usually bring about fifteen and read about two. I have a fear about being stranded anywhere without reading material. Of course, as I was adjusting the bike my articles fell off the ledge. The man next to me was getting the idea that I was not going to be a quiet presence but he was handling it nicely. However, then I got on the bike, after having balanced my www.smartwater.com on a bike handle, and the bottle flew at the man's bike hitting the side. Luckily he laughed, and I said, "I promise that once I start peddling you won't even notice me!" I did calm down after putting on my glasses and starting my exercise. I read an article from a social work magazine about the portrayal of social workers in films. My favorite social workers from movies are from the movie Beetle Juice and Parents. Then I read an "article" from www.Janemagazine.com composed of blurbs about bad-ass celebrities only I became confused because they had interspersed the blurbs labeled "bad-ass" celebrities with some labeled "ass-bad" celebrities, the latter meaning celebrities who they don't like. It took me a while to notice and then get the gist of this differentiation. After my biking, I had what I call a "struggle swim." This is when I am just tired or something is off, and the swim becomes...a struggle. I also call this phenomenon, "Struggling in the Water." Because of this, I only swam half a mile before calling it quits. I swam beside a snorkeler and enjoyed looking at her equipment while underwater. Special Swim Answer to Inquiring Reader: The lifeguard does keep an extra swimcap in case someone doesn't bring one. Of course, the idea of using it is quite gross, in my opinion.

The Other Woman

Last Wednesday I did what I call a Strate Swim. In a Strate Swim I simply swim 70 laps of freestyle counting them. It's okay once in a while but I could never do that all the time. It's too uninteresting. Before I got in the pool, I approached one of the swimmers in the only available lane. I asked her about circling, and she said with some anxiety, "Okay, but do you mind telling her?" She pointed to an elderly woman further down the lane. Then as if to indicate why she had trepidation about the other woman, she said, "She's...." She let it trail off, so I filled it in in my own mind as "grouchy" or "crazy." And I nodded, yes I'll tell her. The young woman smiled, and I made my way to the other woman. "Do you mind if we circle?" She smiled and said, "Sure!" Well, I thought, that wasn't so bad. The elderly woman was kind of wild, with a kickboard and water weights and dancing and water walking. The young woman soon didn't want to deal with us and got out of the pool. The remaining woman and I became fast friends. We didn't talk but gave each other space and exchanged smiles. Swim/gym cliche of the day:
A: (speaks sheepishly to lifeguard) "Can I use the cap?"
Lifeguard: "Yeah" (hands A the extra swim cap)
A: (puts on the cap) "Thanks."
Note to reader: I never use the extra cap!

Like a Fish Making a Point

I asked, "Mind if I join you?" The man was doing a backstroke in the center of the lane. He smiled, "No, of course not!" The translation of my question was not a question but a statement: "Move over to one side, buster." His answer translated to, "Of course I mind. I had a whole lane to myself but you seem nice enough and rules are rules." When one has a lane to oneself, there's a big decision to be made. Should one luxuriate in the center where one will not bump into the sides, or should one take one side so that if someone else comes one will a) not have to have any interaction with that person that might interrupt the meditative quality of the swim and b) not be boxed into a side of the lane one doesn't want. For me, if it's a lane by a wall, it's a no-brainer. Always swim by the rope to protect the spot. If it's a center lane, it's more of a toss-up. I out-lasted this guy. Before he left he bumped into me, like a fish making a point. He had been having a difficult time staying on his side. We were cordial none-the-less. Then a girl with a kickboard joined me. She ran into someone she knew and they had a long conversation in the pool. I take a dim view of lengthy discussion in the pool. My contribution to their discussion was a huff of breath every minute or so. That's how it should be.

*Proof that I'm not a real Fish

Today my swimming felt great but my time wasn't the best. I try not to worry about that but do anyway. I think it might have been because I did a lot of underwater strokes, and those tend to take longer because of the need to breathe...that annoying need*! Swimming underwater is harder than not, and I felt strong so I did most of my swimming underwater. The reason it's harder, I think, is because there's resistance from the water and the breathing issue. When I do the backstroke, I feel like a synchronized swimmer, sort of old-fashioned, like a water lilly. It's a very curvy stroke, especially if done fast, one arm starting before the other arm is finished. If you've played the game centipede, one's body moves like the centipede--at least that's what I think, and there's a lot of time to think during a long swim. Actually there's a lot of time and no time. There's no time in the sense that swimming is hard work involving the whole body and the mind if doing a routine or counting, a habit I've been more into lately. Swim tip of the day: Put some conditioner in your hair before you put on your swim cap. It keeps the hair from being saturated with chlorine.

Rainy Saturday Nite Swim

Today I did a 45 minute fat burning program on a bike before swimming. I brought articles to read during the on-land work-out, so that I wouldn't have to watch bad t.v. It was lucky I brought reading material because the two choices were Mary Kate and Ashley on E and Olympians running. I read an article on political kidnapping in Argentina (jane mag) and a profile of an animal abuse cop (Oprah?). I started one on Jet Lag from the nyt mag but it blew away! After biking, I went into the pool area and laid on the couch, reading a few chapters from a book I bought at the Gay and lesbian center book sale. It's a memoir called "Waiting for my cats to die" that is so amusing. It's by a woman who lives alone in nyc and is single with two cats with whom she is overly close. Do you wonder why I like it (LOL)! Then I swam my paces, making good time, and did some stretching. Swim tip of the day: The pool clears out at exactly 7 pm on Saturday nights. Everyone leaves at once, presumably to "party."

The Tinier the Swimsuit...

It's very humid today so the water felt like just the right place to be. Mid-way thru my swim a man stood by the side of the pool after his own swim and began kicking water into the pool, or trying to anyhow. The lifeguard said, "What are you doing?" The man went into a rant about how the pool area needs to be kept dry and clean, stuff like that. The man was wearing a tiny swimsuit, and I've found that generally the tinier the swimsuit, the bitchier the swimmer. This was a nice lifeguard too, the one who calls me "Superwoman." I would have stuck up for this lifeguard (he does a nice job, enforcing the swim cap rule and everything), but I couldn't interrupt my cardio, ya know? So the bitchy Speedo guy left, and the lifeguard began to tidy up the area which was fine to begin with. The lifeguard and I exchanged our usual "hellos" after my swim. I didn't address the temper tantrum from earlier, because I thought he might feel better if he thought the rest of us didn't notice. Such incidents are actually very muted, because the swimmers are so busy swimming and are underwater a lot. In fact, at times I question whether these stories have even happened. It's like when I see a swimmer crouched down at the end of my lane, and then I finally notice that it's a pile of kickboards. Swimming is very dreamlike.

Mysterious Event in the Swimming Pool

Today there was a girl who came to the pool at the same time as me, except she was accompanied by a governess. The governess had a very long blond ponytail and wore a white lab coat. The girl bent down to her governess, and the governess adjusted the girl's swim cap. This was a good thing for me because I used the extra five seconds to take the better lane. Then the girl got into the pool and began swimming, with her governess watching her from a lounge chair. The girl could have been a girl or an older teenager. It was hard to tell. She was wearing an old-fashioned looking lavender bikini. The governess did not appear concerned about the girl's swimming ability. About five minutes into her swim the governess got up and snapped some pictures of the girl as she swam. The exchange was quiet, and the girl did not react when the photos were snapped. The girl got in and out of the pool a few times, getting water wings and kickboards, and generally being a nuisance. I have zero tolerance for this type of behavior. However, this girl had a governess, and that made all the difference. The governess sat on the lounge chair quietly, looking at the girl now and then. Then the girl got out of the pool and disappeared into the spa never to be seen again. The governess followed her. This made me think that the white coated governess likely worked in the spa. But that didn't explain everything. In fact it still remains a mystery.

Britney and Tom

Today I did a thirty-minute cardio program on the treadmill before swimming. The four channels were the Olympics, Britney Spears, Tom Cruise, and some family type show. I flipped between Britney and Tom. The pool was somewhat crowded for a Sunday evening but became less so towards closing time. My new trend of doing an exercise on land before swimming is quite invigorating. If anything, it enhances the swimming. I swam with a chubby Korean young man. We've swum together before, and it's always a disaster. He tends not to stay on his side. Need I say more? I took the wall since he had the lane first, and that's the proper thing to do. We were able to have our own lanes mid-way thru the swim. That was better. I watched him underwater, not trying to but there's not a lot of things to watch under water at a gym. He has a very unique way of swimming and I wondered if it was a cultural difference, very cool to watch, as long as he was no longer in my lane.
Swim/gym cliche of the day:
A: (At end of pool after just having gotten in): "CAN WE CIRCLE?"
B: (In the midst of a major turn against the wall): Slight eye contact
A and B begin to circle swim.

Nice to be back!

I swam today after a dry spell due to a cold. Unfortunately just as my cold ended a stomach virus began, leaving me feeling sea-sick all the time (My mom seems to have it too). So I made sure not to eat before I swam. Just for kicks I did a fat-burning program on the tread-mill for forty-five minutes before my swim. I brought headphones and plugged into my four choice of television channels. I watched an E True Hollywood on current famous blonde people. It was Bad TV...And the headphone connection was not great. I remember hearing of a gym where there are individual dvd players and screens on the work out equipment. That's what I wanted! The workout seemed to make starting the swim smoother because my muscles were warmed up. Despite my illness I had an excellent swim. The gym also has better water pressure than at home (at least the upper west side gym), so my shower was great too! Nice to be back!
Swim/gym cliche of the day:
A: (looking around for a lane to swim)...
B: (moving towards ladder): yells, "I'm getting out!"
A: (smiles back and nods a thank you)

Not a great post...

I swam on Monday but my post didn't save (Grrr). I was starting to come down with a cold but didn't know it. I felt weak while I swam but it was still a nice swim. It's a bummer to be sick and not be able to swim. This post is short because by now I can't recall what I wrote! I do recall one exchange that occurred, leading me to my-
Swim/gym cliche of the day:
In locker room:
A: "How is the pool here?"
B: "It's nice but crowded."
Note to reader: I always want to discourage new swimmers who will make it more crowded! If they start asking more in-depth questions, like what times to go, etc., then I will do my best to explain it all to them.

Homesick

I've noticed that the pool is colder since the 5 day closing for maintenance. It's such a relief that it's colder. Everytime I swam in the warm pool in the village, I was writing a complaint letter in my head. Cool water makes it harder getting in the pool but makes for so much more comfortable of a swim. Today I brought a book to the pool because I was going during rush hour. I rarely have to wait but brought a book just in case. I'm reading Jenny Lauren's (Ralph Lauren's neice) memoir HOMESICK. It is a great book, very hard to put down (obviously if I brought it to the pool). It is about her eating disorders and consequent major medical problems. I love medical memoirs. Anyway I didn't have to read. I didn't even have to circle swim. I was tired but the swimming was easy. I wondered if it was because I had coffee earlier (a little bit but I'm very sensitive to it). I actually think it's just random at times whether I feel good in the pool or not. Swim/gym cliche of the day:
Member: (hands card to desk staffer) "Hi!"
Desk staffer: "Hi, how are you today?" (swipes card)
Member: "Good, and you?"
Desk staffer: "Good. Have a good work out!" (smile)
Member: "Thanks!" (smile)

Doing the breast stroke AGAINST THE WALL

Today was a hot, humid day, so even though I was swimming indoors, going into the cool water felt very refreshing. I swam with an Asian girl with a perfect body who is on the swim team. I had to ask her and another girl (AKA woman) if we could circle swim. The other girl was like, "Sure, fine" with a smile. The swim team girl was like, "Well, I'd be doing the breast stroke against the wall..." I answered by looking at the other lanes, and the other girls' eyes followed. That answer said: "I would consider swimming in another lane but this is the only one with space." The pleasant girl broke the tension by saying, "I'll be out in five minutes!" Then the pool cleared out (s/p the lunch hour) and the swim team girl and I didn't even have to share a lane. By the end of my swim there was only me and an elderly man. Even the lifeguard seemed to have disappeared. I said to the elderly man, "Got the whole pool to yourself!" He chuckled appreciatively back as we surveyed the still waters and said, "That doesn't happen too often!"
"That's for sure!" I said. And that, folks, is the swim/gym cliche of the day!

Are you going to put that in your blog?

I swam last Thursday in the Village. When I came in to the pool area, one of the lifeguards patted me on the shoulder and said, "Super Woman!" I smiled and said, "Thanks!" He has commented how he has seen my body change from all the swimming. I told David and Jan about it in the evening and David asked, "Are you going to put that in your blog?" "Probably," I answered. After being called Super Woman, I felt a funny pressure to swim very fast and in good form. This is a lifeguard who sits on the edge of the pool and watches. So I did just that, struggling as if I were in a race! Swim/gym cliche of the day:
A: "Damn! I forgot my lock combination."
B: (supportively): "Just think for a minute. You'll remember it."
A: "No, that's not it... that's not it... Shit!...[clicks open] There we go!"
B: "What a relief!"
A: "It's so strange...I've done the combination a thousand times!"
B: "Yeah, it's so weird how that can happen..."
A and B exchange a slight giggle, indicating a happy ending.

Have you ever been with a...?

I swam last Tuesday and luckily had a verbal exchange that enabled me to remember a swim so far back. I was exhuberant s/p a great swim (s/p: wink, wink to all medical/health professionals out there), and I felt chatty as I entered the locker room afterwards. As a woman adjusted the straps on her swimsuit, I accurately assessed that she would be a sitting duck for a pleasant cliche-ridden conversation. I asked her, "Going swimming?" Why yes she was! What a surprise. I began with the cliche that always produces a smile. "It's really empty in there! It's great!" She lit up and took the bait immediately, "Oh, that's wonderful..." She paused in thought and then asked, "Have you ever been with a bulldozer?" I knew what she meant but paused to see where she wanted to go with this. "I mean, someone, usually a guy, who just plows thru the water with no awareness that you are also in the lane?" I gave a knowing nod and said, "Yeessss. It's awful. You can't relax because you have to jump out of his way every few minutes!" She added, "And the guy's usually wearing those weights on his hands!" We were on a role but I wanted to let her get on with her swim, "Yeah, I don't think you'll have to worry about any of that today. It's empty!" She moved towards the pool entrance and turned, saying a final, "Thank goodness!"